Tuesday, January 12, 2016


It’s a new year. Almost everyone I know is glad it’s 2016. Some of my friends are referring to this year as 20Sweet16. I’m not one for resolutions because to me, it’s always a disappointment when I don’t actually make those changes so I tend to make goals, and they are usually impossible to actually reach, like last year I made two goals to quit smoking (almost happened) and to do 1000 miles in some form at the gym (2015 total was 699, only 301 short). This year, I made a lot of goals because I am either going to conquer 20Sweet16, or possibly be really disappointed on December 31st.

1   1. 1000 miles in some form. This goal actually feels attainable this year. I’m already at 65 for the year. My time at the gym has become precious to me. It’s where I clear my mind and to think. I like being sweaty. I know if I don’t go to the gym, since I work from home, there would be days where I wouldn’t leave my house in the winter.
     2. Read 60 books. I used to read all the time before grad school and Facebook. I mainly blame Facebook. It’s a huge time sucker that usually adds very little to my actual life unless I am chatting with a friend in massager since no one really calls anymore (which is fine. Being on the phone is not always a way I want to spend my time).  So far, I have read 11 pages of You Are Not a Gadget by Jaron Lanier, a book I’ve been meaning to read for a year. It’s great but my attention span for reading needs improvement.
3  3. Work on paying off some of my debt. This is a four-year plan and as long as I can stay in my two current positions, this feels really doable.
4  4. Quit smoking. This one is hard, but it needs to happen. I’m probably ruining my skin. The thing about smoking and me is I am a stress smoker. Smoking is what I do when I feel like I have no control and need a moment. Working on cutting back now and I have a date in my head picked.
    5. Find more sources of income. I need to make more money so I can do more things like travel. I am working on starting an etsy store and finding some tutoring and I have some other ideas.
     6. Make the bed everyday. Since I live in a one-bedroom apartment with my kid, I sleep in the living room and he has the bedroom. When my bed isn’t made the whole house feels disorganized and off. So far, I’ve made my bed 11-out of 12 days.
     7.  Paint the kitchen and bathroom. My kitchen is orange and brown. It’s awful. I have also been saying I would paint these rooms since we moved into this place two years ago, but I think I have a plan now and a friend who has offered to help.
      8. Volunteer more. This is so happening. I have been approved to work with a child in the YMCA’s Reach and Rise program and I have a volunteer position with CPRF and will be screening for the Tallgrass Film Festival again this year.
      9. Buy no new clothes till June. Already feel off the shopping wagon today when I went to donate some things at the Goodwill and went inside… But, I really needed this awesome velvet skirt for this dance party I’m going to on the 29th, so…

      10. Take four trips. I am going to Hong Kong in March, Tulsa to see Leon Bridges in May and Kansas City to see the Cure in July. I would also love to go see some friends in Michigan and maybe go back to Indiana in see my BFF (and Ryan Adams is playing in Louisville so I’m hoping to be able to make that happen).

     11. Finish my second book. This book has been on ongoing process for two years. My issue with it seems to be lack of inspiration and self-discipline. I know I have to sit in the chair to write, but lately I seem to let everything come before my writing and I need to change that if this book is going to ever be published.
     12. Keep journaling in the mornings. So far I’ve done this 6 out of 12 mornings. Not bad, I guess…

     13. Submit to 10 journals. It’s time to start publishing my work again.
     14. Go out twice a week. I don’t always socialize as much as I would like. Sometimes I simple just don’t have any money to go out and sometimes I am just too tired or I haven’t made plans and no one has made plans with me. I have told myself for years that I prefer going out alone, but I use this as an excuse to not be sad when I’m lonely. SO far, I’ve gone out twice a week and it was awesome. I haven’t been out this week yet, but I have plans for the weekend, I think.
      15. Write 12 book reviews. I have started my first book to review, but I need to find a tablet to read it on, as my phone is too small to really read and my iBook sort of bulky for bed. I’ve been pricing tablets the last few days.
      16. Get a new tattoo. I know what I want, now to find the right artist and plan it out.
      17. Practice yoga 100 times and mediate twice a week. So far, I’ve done yoga twice but no mediating.

      18. Send more cards to my godchildren. That’s doable.
       19. Spend only an hour a day watching television and on Facebook. This has not happened not at all. I forget that I love television.

      20.  Be kinder. Because we can all work on being kinder.
      21. Fall in love. Love isn’t something missing from my life. I am surrounded by love of family and friends. I am blessed, but I have not been in love for a very long time. There is someone in my life who I love, but we are not ‘in love’ because he won’t allow himself to be emotionally attached to anyone and it is a sad mess of two years we have spent on and off together, most of which was good and some of which was hard and some of which was not fun at all. Then there is the PHD who thinks maybe we could have something, but doesn't actually put in the time to have something with me. Last summer, a man who I’ve had an on and off again romance with told me he loved me but was moving to Thailand with the woman he was seeing and it was upsetting, but I also knew he didn't’ actually mean those words. On NYE, I was kissed a tall handsome democrat party organizer on a dance floor and it was fairly telling it is probably time to make some changes on the dating front if I want to have a something strong and lasting in my life.
     22. Be a better mother. I’m actually a pretty decent mother to my kid (who just turned 21), but last summer my child told me that they are transgender and it has been difficult and a progress that involved a lot of tears and searching, but I think we’re making some progress together. I love Sid. I’m lucky to have such a strong and amazing child.

Do you have goals or resolutions? I had thought about adding a goal to blog more, but 22 seems like a lot already. I do have a new series I am working on though for my friend and stylist Lily about the three times I fell in love at first sight, so look for those to be posted around V-day.

I hope you are having a great 20Sweet16 so far. XOXO